21

This post is a tad late (apart from being perhaps the most random thing that I've ever written - I blame it on utter boredom), considering the fact that I turned 21 a couple of months ago. Turning 21 ought to be a watershed moment in a person's life, considering the fact that the said person should have (by now) at least a faint inkling of what he/she wants to do with his/her life. In that regard, I'm still lost in the proverbial jungle of confusion. All I'm sure about is what I don't want to do. Philosophical rambling apart, here's a list of things that I can now, legally and legitimately given my "mature" age (please note that the audience laughter sign is being held up), choose to do.

1. Legally Purchase Alcohol (in most states of India): Yesssss! This is the big moment that I've been waiting for. Till now, I've been the model of sobriety only because the law says that I have to. Now I can really break loose. Gone are the days of restraint. No longer am I bound by the shackles of our legal system. I don't need to fear anyone, for I can now legally demand my single-malt-scotch-on-the-rocks. (read coke-spiked-with-Mysore-Lancer) Muhahaha (Audience benefits from evil laughter sound), no one can stop me now!
   What's that? In the two months since my birthday (and for as long as I can remember - in spite of plenty of opportunities to change the status-quo), I've been as sober as a judge? Doesn't that toss the "21-I'm-free-time-to-get-wild" theory right out the window? Well, as they say, there's many a slip 'twixt the cup and the lip :P
   
2. Officially Get Married: (Audience may now collectively gasp) Wow! Here's something that I just can't wait to do. Oh, joy! I've been dying to let myself into a hallowed life of boredom and monotony. Let me go through the check list needed to ensure that "the big day" goes off smoothly. Willing groom (Audience may NOT laugh) - check. Location (Audience is left wondering - think "cheap", heck "free") - check. Willing Bride - hmmm... Damn! I knew I forgot something. Let me start with something simpler. Steady Girlfriend? Nope. Any Girlfriend, ever? Nope. So where does that leave the great wedding plan? Well, as has been admirably put before, "We've been scuppered, Mate".
3. Legally Walk into a Night Club (not just in India, but anywhere in the world): Yippee! Here's something that I've always wanted to do. I'm the quintessential party animal, dude! (Audience may request for doggy-bags, to store the unpleasant effects of nausea) You cannot believe how much I've wanted to sweat it out in a smoky, hazy, ill-lit, alcohol-filled dungeon. I just love showing off my moves on the dance floor. The world of raving (literally!) lunatics is about to get a whole lot more interesting. Watch out!

Well, I've run out of activities that are legally open only to people over 21. (There's a limit to boredom, thankfully!) Have I missed out on anything interesting?

A Good Bookstore (rather, the lack of one)

For those of you who are new here, I study in a college near Mangalore, a city in Karnataka. It's a city like any other, with its own peculiarities, merits and demerits. This post is about something that Mangalore lacks. Apart from the "big-city" feel, (Yes, yes, I know, I know - Bangalore is not exactly a very "happening" place but at least it's alive after 9 PM, which is more than I can say for this place - all that it lacks to complete the ghost-town effect is the howling of wolves :D) Mangalore doesn't seem to have a decent bookstore. (Hey, I like to read, a lot in fact - what's wrong with that? Perfectly normal, which would make a first about me :P) The solitary mall is reasonably well stocked with a wide variety of commodities on offer. (chilled sugarcane juice, anyone?) There's a multiplex, for the creatively starved, (although some of the films make the use of this word very, very generous) good scenery for those in need of aesthetics, (:D) and good food for starving stomachs. (as my sister once put it - anything and everything tastes good after the mess)
One thing sorely missing is a decent bookstore. There are a couple of pretenders, but I seriously doubt whether any self-respecting person would venture to call them "bookstores". That description would be equivalent to calling the Grand Canyon a "hole in the ground" or describing the Eiffel tower as "nifty, but an awful waste of steel". The range of books at these stores is quite pathetic. The owners' literary sense ranges from Mills-and-Boons (seriously, two full racks??? Get a life, please!) to what I like to call "Thrash Fiction" - the very latest in "one-man-one-mission-life-or-death-blah-blah" thrillers. Where is the Wodehouse? Where is the Le Carre? Where is the Julian Barnes, the Sebastian Faulks or even the Ian Rankin?
Alright, I get the fact that my literary taste is unique, (a diplomatic way of putting it :D) and most people would rather run a mile in tight shoes than read some of the books that I like. In fact, most people get the impression that I'm slightly cuckoo, primarily because of the stuff that I read. However, it's what I like. All I'm asking for is a bit of choice. That's it. It's hardly difficult, is it?

Smile a Little!

Have you noticed something strange about certain people (I don't have anyone specific in mind, just a certain class of people, of either sex, in case you were wondering... :D)? Smile at them, and all you get in response is a determined look in the other direction. This is often coupled with an expression that seems to be comparing you with the scum-at-the-bottom-of-the-pond, or worse, the-dirt-underfoot. I just don't get it. Why can't people smile back? It's not like their precious smile is a limited commodity, to be doled out sparingly, at best. And it's not as if I'm a walking freak-show, to be avoided like the bloody plague.
Come on, all I'm asking for is a bit of civil conduct, nothing more. I'm a human being, just like you. I don't expect anything from you. If I want something, I'll ask. Then you can look away and frown. But if I just smile at you, basic courtesy says that you smile back. I may not know you from Tom, Dick or Harry, (or the female equivalent, if you prefer) but I expect a certain level of civilisation from you. It's what separates you and me from the animals.
In case the above paragraphs seem to be written in anger, nothing could be further from the truth. It's more pity than anything else, to see that we've "advanced" to a stage where we don't seem to want to acknowledge a stranger's (sometimes it isn't even a stranger) presence. All we care about is ourselves, our small circle of friends, (if that at all) along with our petty lives. Sad.

A Matter of Change

No, this post is not about something important/relevant/serious. The title is misleading, as usual.
It's about a strange thing that I've noticed in people. It's got to do with that fact that NOBODY, ever gives me change for a 100 rupee note. Whether I ask a shopkeeper, hawker, auto-driver, bus-conductor (who by simple deduction should have LOADS of change) or even well-dressed passers-by, the result is the same. They look at me as if I'm selling contraband (Psst... wanna buy some stuff???) and shake their heads. (I'd use a few choice words to describe their heads, but that's the subject of another post) At first I thought that it was the fact that I was speaking English that was the problem. Nope! Kannada and Hindi requests (yes, yes, laugh away - but I do speak other languages, and quite legibly at that) end up eliciting the same damn response.
For heavens' sake! it's not as if I'm giving them a fake note. They can check it if they like. It's as easy as holding the thing up against the light and looking at the conspicuous security thread. The note is most definitely genuine. This isn't the 60s anymore, where a Rs 100 note was a rare item, prone to forgery. Further more, do I look capable of a crime? I mean, seriously, look closer. I barely look 18, let alone a hardened forger.
What then, is the issue with helping someone acquire a bit of change? From any angle, changing notes looks beneficial to all the parties concerned. Person A in need of change, gets it and Person B replaces a bundle of notes with a single note. (highly beneficial, considering the fact that Person B a.k.a shopkeeper/conductor/hawker has an excess of change, which he/she isn't possibly going to need) I've tried to come up with an explanation, but I can't seem to find anything apart from the fact that people are just plain rude.

Status Messages :-) (Part 3)

This just goes on and on. I'm not sure that this batch of status messages are funnier that the last lot, but I'll put them up anyway. (owing to complete, utter and absolute boredom) Here's what caught my eye:
1) "Affected with DWS! Dota Withdrawal Syndrome": Hmmm... For the uninitiated, let me clarify that this is not a drug-addict trying to stay off the stuff. And yes, Dota is that famous game, Defense of the blah-blah. (I can almost hear the shouts of "heretic") Now let's get to the actual status message. Here is a guy, at home for the vacations, complaining about the lack of a... video game. Tah dah! Forget water (actually there when you need it - unlike college), food (amazing - unlike college) and electricity (reasonably continous - unlike college). We want DOTA. We want mind-numbing alternate reality. We want mass hypnotism. We want DOTA. One thing I'll concede though - At least the chap wasn't missing WoW. What is WoW? Check my previous post for the details. It'll tell you all you need to know.
2) So-and-so "is aaaaaarrrrghhing": One, two, three... Six. Yes, I got the number of a's right. I'm a bit confused. Just what does this mean? Is this chap trying (unsuccessfully, apparently) to clear his throat? Is he trying to impress us with his (unheard, thankfully) vocal talent? I'm not sure even he knows.
3) "Lord Percy Percy": Here's a classic. Just what does this mean? This late at night, I'm not even close to guessing what went on in this person's mind. Can someone enlighten me? And who the f*** is Percy anyway?
Well, these were a few status messages that I found funny. (this being the key part...) Does anyone else have any others?

P.S. This article is meant to be taken in a lighter vein. Nothing personal.

How to Tell A Convincing Lie

I'm home and I'm quite jobless. As a result, there's going to be a lot more where this came from. (What's that? A groan? Or was that a resigned sigh?)

For those who've noticed the topic and wondering when on earth I'm going to get to it, let me not prolong the agony. Over the past few months, I've witnessed a lot of people (including myself) tell a lot of lies. Some were successful, the others got themselves deeper into trouble. That's the problem with a lie. If you don't pull it off, you're worse off than when you started. Here are a few things I've noticed about good lies:
1) Give a lot of details. But not so much that it becomes obvious that you have no idea what you're talking about. You also need to give believable details about what happened. If you say things like "I ate good food at the mess tonight", well you're asking to be caught fibbing. If you say that you found a slug in the curry, then you're going to be believed instantly.
2) Do not give the other person time to think. Say the lie quickly and ask whatever you wish to ask for. Make sure you keep talking, as most people will say "yes" just to shut you up. (works with me all the time :D)
3) Try flattery. Skipped one too many a class? No problem. Just say things like "I really wanted to attend, but..." or "The so-and-so topic is really interesting, I've already asked some to explain it to me but..." and most people believe you without question. Although, you'd better remember not to overdo it.
4) Use a firm voice and be sure of what you're going to say. There's nothing worse that saying "I wasn't able to do so-an-so thing because um..... a.... what I meant to say was..... eh..... I was um..... doing so and so thing." You've lost the game at the first "um".
Well, there you have it. A few ways to tell a convincing lie. Too bad they never work for me... (excluding the "yes-just-please-stop-talking-for-god's-sake" one)

Writing A Resume

The other day I witnessed a few of my friends "updating" their resumes. OK. That's normal. Then I decided to actually read some of the sentences in them. Before I tell you what caught my eye, let me explain how 19 somethings actually write these documents. In terms of work we haven't done much. That's a fact. Unfortunately, none of us can put that down on paper. Why shoot ourselves in the foot? To get around this tiny problem, what we do is this:
1) Twist any and every fact to exaggerate the amount of work done. Fetching water/tea/coffee becomes "helped out in crucial office tasks" and spell checking becomes "proof-reading and content verification".
2) Blow the importance of what we did sky-high. Things like writing internal memos that everyone ignores become "tasks crucial to the corporation's functioning." A job as insignificant as searching the yellow pages for a florist morphs into "important conference arrangements".
3) Play up what we learnt. Did I say "play up"? I meant make up. Most of us learnt nothing noteworthy in our respective summer jobs/projects/interns. Of course, saying this would be a fool-proof to ensure that we never get such opportunities again. As a result, we write things like "worked on a variety of projects, each providing invaluable experience regarding the functioning of the blah blah". Or "contributed significantly towards the completion of so-and-so task". Notice how none of us give out any specifics. The key is ambiguity. The more of it the better.
4) Hype up things like the place at which we did our intern/project. Institutes suddenly become "premier" and companies "globally renowned". Leave out the fact that they may be liquidated at any moment.
5) A perennial favourite: Put down all our achievements, however insignificant they may be. 90% in the tenth board exams? Wow! We've got to mention that. It's sure to be something that'll help us a lot with a VLSI project. Member of an environmental awareness group? Put it down, ignoring the fact that we couldn't care less if the earth literally melted away.
Well, there you have it. A nice way to read into the resumes of 19-20 somethings. A pinch of salt? Better make it the entire bottle :D

Society: Interact, please.

Arbit: check. Useless: check. Timepass: hell, yeah! Read on... :D
There are a lot of people in this world. Each one of them is (unfortunately) unique and hence poses a new difficulty when spoken to. Just how do things get done then? How does anyone understand what anyone else says? Imagine a scenario with 6 billion types of currency. A bottle of water would cost 34 gulatis but only 14 thingys, although the price would cross a 1000 ponkies (worthless stuff, you see!) I hope you realise why human beings have invented what is popularly called society. (I've heard words like restrictive-madness-you-people-suck, strait-jacket-on-my-free-expression-blah-blah, i-wanna-dance-about-dressed-as-a-turkey-who-the-hell-are-you? etc. used as synonyms) I can almost hear the people upstairs stifling their laughter. My defense is this: We were desperate, and this is what best came to mind... What's a little disaster between friends, eh?
Here's a look at society and the way people interact with each other as I see it:
1) To be respected you have to be rich, powerful or beautiful. (preferably all three) Smart? Sorry, wrong universe. Try the one labeled "geeks-r-us".
2) If you're a beautiful woman, (I can't write about handsome guys, maybe someone from the opposite sex can fill in the blanks) you're going to be treated like Czech crystal. You can happily order about several desperate men to do your bidding. They're happy to help, after all. Self-sufficient? Who cares? Your every wish is their command.
3) If you are white, visiting Asia is a dream. Millions upon millions of poor(er) people to kiss the very ground on which you walk in return for a few American coins. (though the way the exchange rates are going, I really would not bet on this lasting much longer) Pride is lesser than hunger, you see. You should know, seeing how much you lot eat.
4) If you are Indian, be prepared to adjust.
5) If you're American, get ready to consume beyond this planet's capacity (and five others just like it) and blame Indians for eating too much.
6) If you're Ponky, ha...ha...ha... Poor you!
7) If you're me, run and hide. Fast.
There's lots more where this came from... Add as many as you please!

A User's Guide to The Earth

Below is evidence that I'm irritated at the moment. As usual, completely random.

A User's Guide to The Earth

Before you arrive at planet Earth, please take a minute to familiarise yourself with facts about this eccentric planet and its inhabitants. (A bunch of touchy souls best described as being obsessed with little green pieces of paper)
First, you need to know about this insignificant planet you're about to teleport/land/translocate/beam on/to.
1) 3rd planet from a nondescript star on a spiral arm part of the Milky Way galaxy. The star is called the “sun” by earthlings.
2) 80% water, much of it ruined.
3) 20% land, fiercely fought over.
4) 6 billion people, each willing to betray the other for the right price.
5) 190+ countries, every one of them willing to sacrifice young earthlings (they're called “men” and “women” or simply - “humans”) to defend what they see is a right cause. It often is not.
6) 7 continents, not one of them free from weapons designed to eliminate fellow inhabitants of the planet.
7) 20000+ nuclear warheads that could destroy all forms of life larger than a cockroach. Earthlings don't believe in using nuclear reactions the way the rest of the universe does. They seem intent on digging their own grave. (This guide-book cannot be held as accurate at any point in time. One big 'BOOM', and all our statistics need to be rewritten.)
Great. Now you know where this planet is and what it's like. Time for a few tips on how to interact with the local population.
1) Do not stare at people or their body part(s). This makes earthlings really uncomfortable. Before you start getting smug, remember what we were like in our first fifty thousand years.
2) Humans consider the smallest thing a technological marvel. If people comment on how small their phones are, humour them. (Remember that we used “phones” to communicate once too. Small, mobile ones at that. Way back.)
3) Earthlings are not used to people disappearing into thin air. Teleportation is impossible according to the best scientists on Earth. (Humans are like that sometimes – the impossible is often right under their oversize noses.)
4) Some humans are overwhelmingly stupid. They could be shooting themselves in the foot and they won't realise a thing. Don't get irritated, you're only a visitor and the damned place is going to the dogs anyway. Its not like you'd want to come back. (If you do, we suggest you enrol yourself in the nearest mental health facility. Quick.)
5) Humans give a lot of thought to what others think of them. Almost all their actions are directed towards making others think better of them. The clothes they wear, the stuff they put of their faces, the gadgets they use are all things specifically designed to make others jealous. Who needs utility when your neighbour is jealous? Certainly not human beings.
OK. That should give you a fair idea about the planet and its dominant life-form. It should also make you question your sanity in visiting the place. It's not too late to turn around, just press the “save-me” button located near your USI (Universal Standards, Incorporated) seat. If you don't see the button, it's time to sue your transportation agency. If you still wish to continue, then it may just be your funeral. Don't say we didn't warn you!

NPS (I) Lingo

Yes, I've written about this before. No, the content is not the same.
NPS Indiranagar. The place of study for some of Bangalore's brains like NV (CBSE 98.2% - what more can I say?), Mukund Kaimal (IIT rank 150 w/o much effort - genius), Anoosh (similar story - only with a 'bad' rank of 360!) etc. You get the picture don't you? NPSi can also start its own 'Sloggers Inc.' without too much hassle. With the kind of people around, they wouldn't have any problem whatsoever recruiting top-notch company representatives. As an outsider, I was all at sea. Apart from the astoundingly high concentration of brains - although profoundly lacking in other departments - what I found really different was the varied, twisted use of language there. There were certain phrases that proved that you were pedigree NPSi material. Let me list them out for the benefit of those going - "See, I told you so. Gulati's definitely off his rocker."
1) Aaaaasaaaaa: Not me leaning on the keyboard in a near trance condition, this is perhaps the most widely used NPSi-ism. What can it possibly mean? An expression of pain? A joyful rendition of the plagiarized school song? A statement that enables the speaker to truly join the environment of the school? Bala's favourite expression with an added 's'? Not exactly. It is more of an expression along the likes of: Oh, really? Tell me something new. It's used as follows:
Person 1: The world is round, what a marvel!
Person2: (Instead of "tell me something new") Aaaaaasaaaa....
2) Biting: This one has much more sensible roots. The guys who came up with this were probably inspired by the traditional British saying: "He's barking mad". Only it's been modified first to "biting mad" and then simply "biting". Usage:
Person 1: I'm going to sleep at ten tonight, not studying anything.
Person2 to Person3 behind Person 1's back: Heard him, he's biting.
3) Laapet: OK. I don't think this one could have come from the english language in any form. Could be some regional language behind it. Not too sure on that one. What I do know is that this expression is never used without the hand clenched in a fist except for the little finger extended outwards and the thumb straight upwards. Sort of like an 'L'. There, not too hard is it? The meaning is quite simple as well:
Person 1: I'm the best. I top the class without studying at all.
Person 2: Laapet. You don't fool me...
Well, that's about it. My two years at NPSi were immensely enjoyable and certainly colourful (to say the least!), not helped in a small part by these fabulous examples of free speech. I don't remember much more, but I would definitely welcome more examples.

Status Messages :-) (Part 2)

OK, this post is a wee bit repetitive in its topic but not its content. It is about weird and funny status messages I've come across in Gtalk. Seems like my friends are intent on giving me a good laugh every once in a while. So, here goes:
1) "Unavailable": This is what prompted me to write this article. The person in question has a nice green dot next to his name while the status was set to "Unavailable". Now who's to tell him that normal people consider green on Gtalk = available. Almost everyone (excluding members of crackpots-inc.) considers green to mean go/free/open etc. It was with this common sense knowledge that Google set green = available. Either he has a very clingy (and dumb) someone he hopes to fool or he's just plain bonkers. I have a feeling it's the latter. (Though anyone wanting to contact him that often has to be dumb)
2) "Russian Rock Machans :-)": Hmmm... What does this mean? What are its implications for the quasi-static universe of Gaudi art? Does the person who wrote this have any connections to the abyss beyond? Does he/she hope to renew longing for the metaphysical universe of retro-moderno-virtuso-writing? Your guess is as good as mine. I'm no expert on ancient calls to departed spirits :) And what's with the smiley? Anybody willing to enlighten me on the meaning of 'Machans' and how it applies to Russian rock? (whatever that is...)
3) "The Year of The Prime": OK. Prime WHAT? Jackass? Nitwit? Fool? Empty-Headed-Psychopath? I really don't think we were meant to get what it means. I'll have to report this to the committee handling the Roswell cases. Sounds suspiciously like an ET communique to me.
4) "Good God!! It's Working!! Eureka!! (no, m nt runnin around :P)": I don't even want to know what you're doing. If you're discovering the joys of something for the first time, you don't have to tell the world about it. Come on, spare us! Think of the minds that you're messing with. We're never going to be the same again. Please! Have mercy! Noooooooooo..... Btw, what are you doing anyway?

As before, I've run out of status messages I can insult. Please do add anything you can think of. We could always do with some extra laughs :)

P.S. This article is meant to be read in a lighter vein. Don't get angry, for I don't mean any harm.

Attitude?

Well, I think everyone is fed up of reading my posts related to anywhere abroad. So, I thought I'd return to familiar territory. OK, the subject of this post (more of a discussion actually) is attitude and the many forms that it comes in.
Let me first define what I mean by attitude: A person's way of interacting with others. For example, is someone diplomatic or blunt? That sort of thing. If you prefer some other more appropriate term, go ahead and use it.
The question I wished to ask was this: Is a straightforward (blunt, in-your-face, says things as he/she sees them) person better off than a diplomatic person? When I say better off, I mean in a personal way. Who would you prefer to talk to and why? Personally, I'd like to talk to someone who is blunt. At least I know that he/she isn't just saying things to please me. With a diplomatic person, I'm not so sure. Nothing is more frustrating than getting a diplomatic person to take a stand. Just ask Poi and me. We had probably the most diplomatic person as our room-mate. It was impossible to get his opinion on anything without a maybe/if/but.
I'm on the other hand, quite blunt. At least I was until it really hurt me. I got sidelined when I arguably deserved better. (I think everyone knows what I'm talking about) Ever since then, I've made a conscious effort to be a little bit more guarded in my speech, a.k.a. Diplomatic. But is this what people want? To have everyone talking in words that leave everything ambiguous? I guess so. Sad.
I'd have thought we require more clarity, rather than more ambiguity. What do you think? Are we better off with diplomatic or blunt fellows around us? Do tell me, I'm all ears. (Just look at my pic carefully, will you? :D)

Poetry In Motion

The Eurofighter Typhoon. Anybody who knows their fighter aircraft will recognise that name. It's amongst the most advanced fighter aircraft in existence today. There's not much I can say that can do it justice. You have to see it first hand, hear the roar in your ears (though the Sukhois and the MiGs are much, much louder) for you to know what I'm talking about. I thought I'll upload a few pics so that you can at least see the object I'm talking about.

P.S. Anyone who wants higher quality images, please get in touch with me. I'd be happy to send them to you.

Football Madness!

Indians are crazy about cricket. Some call us fanatics. We're cricket "obsessed" they say. India vs. Pakistan is considered to be more of a war, rather than a game. We spend way too much time idolizing our cricket players. Insane amounts of money are given each year for a few seconds worth of endorsement.
Are we really that bad? It depends on the relative measure. David Beckham is paid 200 crores a year. M.S. Dhoni, the highest earning cricketer, is paid only 50 crores. What about the fanfare and the noise we make, bursting crackers when India wins? Take a look at the video I've uploaded. It was taken in Frankfurt when Croatia beat Austria in their first group match. There were about 50 odd cars circling the main square, flags draped around the hood and the roof. Turn up the volume and you'll realise what a racket these cars were making. They continued for about 2 hours until the police intervened. I'm not sure we'd disturb an entire neighbourhood if India defeated Sri Lanka in the group stage of the Asia cup. Would we?

Status Messages :-)

"An unhappy nine pointer" - Recently seen as the status message of a 'famous' second (now third) year. For most people, unhappiness and a GPA of nine are mutually exclusive. Obviously someone up there forgot to provide my friend with common sense. I do hope he realises that one of his professors gives a perfect 10 for writing DOTA stories instead of the subject. Lucky guy!!!
"Is this love?" - I really wonder what was going through this character's mind. Loss? Longing? Or was it simply the shock of having found himself a girlfriend at last? Perhaps it was the realization that he was gay after all. Dear roomie(s), I'd run and hide if I were you.
"It just had to be him" (along with a portrait shot of Barack Obama) - This is at least easy to understand. The guy's in love with poor Mr. Obama and cannot help himself when it comes to the Democratic presidential nominee. Travel advice to Mr. Obama: Please avoid visting India while this chap is around. I don't think the Secret Service can handle such threats. Just ask NITK (specifically IE) seniors.
"Status Message :P" - Now here's creativity for you. Very original. Fantastic expression of inner feelings. What prose! Mind-blowing. Outstanding. Stunning.
"From Quantum Computing to SETI, we've got it all" - Eh? Huh? Um... just what does this person hope to convey by that? Who in god's name are "we"? And what the hell is this cryptic soul talking about? I'd be interested only if "got it all" includes free food. (Funny because the person who wrote this is none other than... ahem... drumroll please... me!!! Shows how crazy I really am.)
Poor Gtalk. I would have thought that even the internet has some standards.

Eligible Bachelors

Twenty One. There are a lot of things you can do when you're twenty one. You're legally allowed in most states to purchase alcohol (not that being underage stops anyone), and for those desperate few, you can also get married.
To get married, you need a girl. However, finding one is not easy. In order to help my friends (and myself) out, I've put together the following profiles. These profiles are ready-to-use for any popular marriage portal.

For most of us:

H'SOME (like I'd say otherwise - beauty is in the eye of the beholder) boy 21/5'blahblah/to-be-confirmed-not-yet-placed-you-see P.A. Studying in NITK. Prospective Btech looking for b'ful, qualified girl (NO. Actually I'd like an ugly, uneducated dimwit but if you insist I'd settle for the others). Preferably single. Must meet mummy's QC. Interested parties may contact: imsokewlimgay@blahblah.com

For the picky (read raving lunatics) few:

EXCELLENT (Compared to what? The devil is in the detail) boy 21/whatever/not-to-be-disclosed-this-isn't-about-selling-myself P.A. Studying in prestigious college. Prospective Btech looking for conservative and homely girl. Manglik needn't apply. Pure brahmin heritage essential (on both sides - I'm not going to be short-changed). Height less than mine (I'm in control, not you - nyah nyah). Subversive attitude must. Girls who can't cook needn't bother applying. Interested parties may contact: male_supremist@blahblah.com

Happy New Year!!! Hello 2008

So this is 2008. Funny, it doesn't feel any different. And I'm glad.
Eight years ago, I was celebrating the coming of a new millennium. What a feeling, knowing that I was part of something special. I also remember thinking to myself that the years were quite simply flying by. Eight years on, I still get the same feeling and it sends shivers down my spine. These are the years I hope to look back on as part of the "those-were-the-days" era. I'm on a virtual paid holiday at NITK and life couldn't be better. (Well, my love-life needs an injection of the opposite sex and a whole lot of luck - Apart from that minor issue things seem to be going along nicely)
The thing that bothers me is the fact that time is flying by. A few years down the line, I'm going to really miss my present life. As a result, I've reached the following new year vows:
1) Enjoy myself at all costs.
2) Get hitched. (Yeah right!!! Who am I kidding?)
3) Be nicer to people. I do tend to rub some people the wrong way.