Stuck in an argument with someone? Feel like thrashing him to within an inch of his life? Wondering why he doesn't just let you win? After all, how can you loose? You're undoubtedly and unerringly correct. 100%.
Just so that everyone else realises that tiny fact, (come on, they're a bit slow... give them a little leeway) here are a few tips to help you win any argument:
1) Scream at the TOP of your lungs, eyes bulging and swear words at two/sentence. Also throw in a bit of LOUD laughter and 3 weeks worth of beard and you have a winning combination.
2) Make up absolutely and positively nonsensical points to support your already thin argument. Throw in a bit of 'yo!' and 'daaasaaaa' and you're guaranteed success, every single time.
3) Walk away in the middle of the argument. That way you can at least save face by avoiding an embarrassing defeat. (Works only when you realise that you were completely wrong before your opponent) In case you're really lucky, they might even mistake your cowardly flight for utter disdain that comes with superior knowledge. (personal experience here - no jokes)
4) Keep shut. This is to be used as a last resort whenever things get really sticky. Use it when any and every thing you say will only make you look more foolish. (hard to think that's possible, isn't it?)
5) Shaaata-Thu. The classic. Need I say more?
temple by the sea
14 years ago
4 comments:
Ways some people win football arguements.
If general arguement "that and all i donno manu are champions"
If against arsenal "you have never won european cups"
if against chelsea "chelsea just sucks thats all"
Here is how to win an argument
1) Always keep a slight smile alternately sneering and superior.
2) DO NOT raise your voice - in fact lower it by a notch - remember Godfather??
3)Keep an even tone.
4) Infuriate the opponent by saying 'Please Understand' like you would to a kid throwing a tantrum.
5) Show no signs of temper - hide the throbbing veins.
6) Summarize often whatever the opponent says in a sentence (or max two)repeatedly till it sounds downright dumb.
7) In case you are still losing the argument retain the smile and walk off with an effective shrug of the shoulder, flick of the tresses or with a raised eyebrow.
From someone who loses arguments but not friends...
Nice advice. A lot of us could learn from it...
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