It's THAT Time Again...

Yes, Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the greatest show on this vast (read: NITK campus, all xxx - can't seem to recall the exact figure, but rest assured, it's HUGE - acres of it) Earth. I have the solemn (and unilateral, because I'm sure half the people reading this are going to denounce me as a heretic, be-littler, blah-bloody-blah) honour of introducing to you the Student Union Elections as the headline act for tonight. Please take your seats, and be prepared for the sheer grandeur of the setting, the relevance of the dialogue and the solemnity of the script. Welcome to one and all, once again.
Frivolity aside, let me describe the significance of this event in the life of the average NITK-ian. Since NITK is an amalgamation of students from all across India, and ultimately these said students are the ones that vote for the Union (and other) leaders, an election here is bound to reflect the, ahem, "vibrant" nature of the Great Indian Election. As in the real thing, coalitions are the order of the day. Situations like Region 1+Sub-region 2+Part-of-Region 3 vs Region 4+ Sub-sub-region 5+ Break-away-province 6 are common occurrences, with each important party (yes, "party", like the BJP/Congress/etc.) choosing representatives, leaders, negotiators, spies, secret weapons, counters-to-secret-weapons et al. Constituency visits, in the form of late-night meetings in the various blocks; Campaigning, in the form of door-to-door visits; Propaganda in the form of videos, pamphlets, agendas and even manifestos; Reservations in the form of a "Girls Rep" (recognising the fact that with 1/8th of the population, they need the representation - see how prescient we are?) etc. are all to be found in this democratic exercise. Again, reflecting the true nature of our multi-faceted country, negotiations for potential alliances are long, tedious and often fruitless. News from a day before may as well be a year old. Partners are swapped with an orgy-like frequency, friends are made, lost and made again. When the very future is at stake, (and I'm talking long-term here - ONE whole year of proverbially running the show) can you expect anything else? Can you? Huh? Huh?
You don't agree? Oh you foolish, cretinous, half-witted moron!

P.S. Since we're (Final years) almost done with this place, we aren't officially involved in the process - which is what led to this post. It's easy to write about events that you are disconnected from... :D

Why?

Prologue: Lists upon lists of endless numbers were splayed across his screen. Frantically, he began searching through them hoping, rather, expecting to see his. After a few futile minutes, he was forced to admit the happening of the implausible. The Earth had just given way, and he felt himself falling, falling to previously unfathomable depths...

He didn't know whether to laugh or cry. He was still unsure of what had happened, and and he couldn't even begin to conceive why things had turned out the way they had. He didn't quite know which way to turn, for every direction seemed as forlorn as the last. Needless to say, he had not a clue of what to do next. All he knew was that he had failed in the one place he was sure to succeed. Around him, some of his friends were understandably ecstatic, happy that they had managed to overcome impossible odds, odds he disdained, until now. A few sympathised, but their plausibly soothing words only served to rankle him further. The question foremost in his tortured mind was this - "Why?"
Why, after he had spared no possible effort? Why, after all the promise leading up to that fateful day? Why him, the darling of the punters, one of the few, almost certain to coast to victory? Why?
For days on end he sat, staring despondently at the endless trickle of bad news. Lists, e-mails, news, all of it seemed to be directed against him, aimed at adding insult to already sore injuries. Professional or personal, no realm of his existence was left untouched by the blight. Everything, everything seemed to be out of place. As he stood looking at himself in the dusty mirror, in the derelict sanctity of his room, one thing became very clear, not unlike the coming into focus of a distant landscape. He had had spells of inconsequentially bad luck before, the lessons from which still reverberated in his cluttered head, but never before had he realised anything with greater clarity. This was simply not meant to be. Rationalism be damned, this was just not going to go his way, irrespective of how much he felt he deserved it. He realised with a sense of awe previously unknown to him, that he had been guided by Fate.
Never one to believe in destiny, he prided himself on the fact that he was a faithful follower of Logic. For him, cause and effect had a precedence over all other beliefs. If he worked at something, he succeeded. That was all there was to it. The concept of luck existed merely to placate those who obviously did not deserve what they did not get. Like much else in his world, this belief had also been turned on its head. Unbidden, the image of an all-sentient being, pulling at strings not unlike those used to control puppets, filled his head. He realised that the image was more than just mere symbolism - this was the way things were, the answer to that most fundamental of all questions - Why?

Epilogue: A short while later, his screen was filled with yet another list of numbers, representing hundreds of his fellow competitors. Predictably by now, his number did not figure on the list. Unlike the previous five times this had happened, he smiled to himself, closing the lid of his computer. There was not a trace of disappointment or despondency on his usually emotive face. There was however, a calm serene expression - the expression of someone who knew the reason why...

Buzz Buzzzzz...

It's been a while since I was last here. How many of you missed me? OK, wrong question, I was being a tad optimistic... Sarcastic answers notwithstanding, (why don't you put them in the comments section - I'm quite bored honestly, and could use some entertainment) here's why I've chosen to occupy a few more kilobytes in the blogger.com servers.
As I'm sure you'd have noticed, Google launched yet another service, aimed at making us incapable of communication beyond 20 odd words - Buzz. They haven't actually said that it resembles Twitter, (that 160 character marvel that seems to be the by-word for the socially-urbane folk today) but it's quite obvious that they hope to steal some of its thunder. Not too mention that of Facebook, (though how much is questionable, given the lack of easy access to visual stimulus - something that most guys love looking at, for reasons best left unsaid) Flickr, and a whole host of other services I really couldn't care less about. As far as I'm concerned, anything that encourages us to communicate using lesser words and with more (read random) people is something to be avoided like the plague. I'm not saying that Google Buzz will end up being as degenerate as some of the other "social" networking websites, but I'm not too optimistic. I hope that I end up liking it, because it sure as hell can be an excellent past-time.
However, there's a bigger question here. Has the world moved on from means of communication where you actually need to write something (as opposed to looking like you're training to be the world's most reticent Trappist monk) to forms where any bit of extraneous information is a bit too much, and things like "liked blah blah movie, so-and-so person hot, direction OK, story sucks" actually sound verbose? Even E-mail, something that was considered rude, curt, and overly business-like not so long ago, seems like verbal extravagance. I shudder to think what we're going to come up next. Maybe it'll be a form of gesture recognition. Wave once, and you're hungry. Wave twice, and you want to go see a movie, apart from eating dinner. Wave thrice, and... well, you get the point. We're going to be reduced to using gorilla-communication techniques in the not-so-distant future, unless we're careful. I bet Darwin would have a hard time explaining that.
Granted, there are some merits to the new social network, but I really don't think that "likes" and "pokes" fall under this category. Call me an old-fashioned fool, but I genuinely believe that friends ought to mean something more than the odd comment on a wall/homepage/whatever. If you consider someone to be your friend, spend at least a few minutes writing something that doesn't look like a newspaper headline. But then again, what the hell do I know?

You Know That You Need A Social Life

I realise that NITK isn't exactly a bohemian hot-spot and that I don't really fit the party-hopping stereotype, (as my sister loves to point out - "you're soooo boring!") but this December was a real social low. Here's a handy list to know when you need a new social life:

1. The only messages you get on your phone are Google Calendar reminders (pick up such-and-such form, pay so-and-so bill etc.)
   
2. You keep your phone switched off for nearly two weeks and don't miss a single call/message/S.O.S./whatever (even the said reminders choose not to arrive!)
3. The only sound your phone makes is due to the morning alarm.
   
4. Your cell-phone balance (of Rs. 30) remains nearly the same for over a month.
5. You spend a lot of time staring at a nearly empty GTalk list, wondering who is still undisturbed (read not-yet-contemplating-justifiable-homicide) by your boredom.
6. You start writing about random events (you should read some of the drafts on this blog - even I find them nonsensical)
7. You find yourself alone on New Year's Eve (even my parents and sister decided to give me the slip :D)
8. Your childhood friends become extra-busy, so much so that you are cut off mid-sentence with promises of "I'll call you back" which never materialise.
9. Your favourite songs are those about heartaches, loss, sadness, rainy nights and silence.
10. You open your mail-box on the hour, every hour, hoping for some signs of your friends.
11. Your only mails are from News and Techno-geek websites. (apart from regular Calendar reminders :P)
    

The high point over the past three weeks would have to be a brilliant vacation that I really enjoyed. Apart from that, it was a bit of a depressing end to the decade. Thankfully, things are beginning to look up, now that I'm back in college. Happy New Year!

The First of The Last(s)

Another day, another week, another year and yet another semester. Just what makes this particular one worth blogging about? (here's the part where I like to delude myself that this blog has some standards...)
Well, it just happens to be the last semester (hopefully) that I shall spend at NITK, Surathkal, my second home for the past three and a half years. Today, I began my eighth semester with the usual frustrating queues for paying mundane fees, something that can easily be avoided by the tiniest bit of computerisation. As I finished every frustrating formality that could be possibly devised, I realised one thing - that however much I may gripe, crib or complain about the procedure, there is going to be a part of me (in this case, a very very small part) that will actually miss such tasks. I realised that this was probably the last time I was going to stand in a line, trying to get past reluctant people with shouts of "final year, final year". And then it hit me - It's going to be one long semester of "last-times". The last Inci, the last Engi (already over, courtesy our administration) the last time we sat on the terrace, the last time on the beach, the last time at the temple, the last time at the top of the lighthouse, the last time getting high on cheap booze. (for the more experimental among my friends!) I also realised one other thing - I don't have to feel bad that it's the "last time". All I need to do is ensure that I stay happy, and try to enjoy every moment of this semester. Sure as hell, it promises to be like no other. So, here's wishing all my fellow "final" years - Happy new year, and a very happy last semester! May this be the best "last-time" ever!

21

This post is a tad late (apart from being perhaps the most random thing that I've ever written - I blame it on utter boredom), considering the fact that I turned 21 a couple of months ago. Turning 21 ought to be a watershed moment in a person's life, considering the fact that the said person should have (by now) at least a faint inkling of what he/she wants to do with his/her life. In that regard, I'm still lost in the proverbial jungle of confusion. All I'm sure about is what I don't want to do. Philosophical rambling apart, here's a list of things that I can now, legally and legitimately given my "mature" age (please note that the audience laughter sign is being held up), choose to do.

1. Legally Purchase Alcohol (in most states of India): Yesssss! This is the big moment that I've been waiting for. Till now, I've been the model of sobriety only because the law says that I have to. Now I can really break loose. Gone are the days of restraint. No longer am I bound by the shackles of our legal system. I don't need to fear anyone, for I can now legally demand my single-malt-scotch-on-the-rocks. (read coke-spiked-with-Mysore-Lancer) Muhahaha (Audience benefits from evil laughter sound), no one can stop me now!
   What's that? In the two months since my birthday (and for as long as I can remember - in spite of plenty of opportunities to change the status-quo), I've been as sober as a judge? Doesn't that toss the "21-I'm-free-time-to-get-wild" theory right out the window? Well, as they say, there's many a slip 'twixt the cup and the lip :P
   
2. Officially Get Married: (Audience may now collectively gasp) Wow! Here's something that I just can't wait to do. Oh, joy! I've been dying to let myself into a hallowed life of boredom and monotony. Let me go through the check list needed to ensure that "the big day" goes off smoothly. Willing groom (Audience may NOT laugh) - check. Location (Audience is left wondering - think "cheap", heck "free") - check. Willing Bride - hmmm... Damn! I knew I forgot something. Let me start with something simpler. Steady Girlfriend? Nope. Any Girlfriend, ever? Nope. So where does that leave the great wedding plan? Well, as has been admirably put before, "We've been scuppered, Mate".
3. Legally Walk into a Night Club (not just in India, but anywhere in the world): Yippee! Here's something that I've always wanted to do. I'm the quintessential party animal, dude! (Audience may request for doggy-bags, to store the unpleasant effects of nausea) You cannot believe how much I've wanted to sweat it out in a smoky, hazy, ill-lit, alcohol-filled dungeon. I just love showing off my moves on the dance floor. The world of raving (literally!) lunatics is about to get a whole lot more interesting. Watch out!

Well, I've run out of activities that are legally open only to people over 21. (There's a limit to boredom, thankfully!) Have I missed out on anything interesting?

NITK Lingo - Part 2 (I think)

As the title may have suggested, I am a) Highly jobless b) Extremely bored and c) Without a source of inspiration. As a result, I have fallen back upon my tried-and-tested method of recycling old topics. I'm not too sure how many of you actually read the previous post on this topic, (I'm guessing not too many - people grow smart with experience :D) but here's a quick recap on the need for this post.
If you've ever been in a college/institution or even a particular group of friends, you would have probably come across a lot of phrases/words that mean nothing to you at first. Things like "GG", "Imba" sound like moronic babbling rather than meaningful expressions. (In case you were wondering what those two words mean, please read this - it should help) After a while, you finally begin to understand that people around you are not cretins, but are rather doing what humans do best - evolve a social custom. (What's that? Am I going to get to the point or not? Alright, alright, someone's grumpy!) Well, the point is this: NITK is (almost - don't get me started on what this place lacks with respect to human-resource) no different from any other organised society. We have a set of expressions and idioms that would make absolutely no sense whatsoever to someone on the outside. Here are my favourites:

1. "Well Played": Contrary to popular interpretations, we are not applauding sportsmanship of any kind here. We simply mean that you have successfully done something that you didn't want to other person to know you were doing, without him/her understanding what you intended on doing all along. Confused? The following conversation should make things a bit clear. Person 1 (dying to tell someone about his new shirt): "Hey, is that a new shirt?" Person 2(a little taken aback, because the shirt he is wearing is at least two years old): "No man, it's not. Hey aren't you wearing a new shirt?" Person 1: "Why yes, I am. I didn't even realise" In such a scenario, we say "well-played" (repeatedly) to Person 1.
2. "Awb" or "Ob": This one is quite straightforward. The word is simply a short-form for "obvious". Unfortunately, some people here use it to a level that would make purists of the language bay for their infidel blood. "How's the mess food?" "Awb, man" "How was class?" "Awb" "How was the exam?" "Awb" (though "GG" is an extremely popular substitute here) "How are you feeling?" "Awb" "Are you going out somewhere?" "Awb". Get the picture? It isn't exactly the Queens' English, I'm afraid.
3. "Whursht": This is a derivation from the word "worst", but it is pronounced the way I have spelt it. Basically, it means that something is really, really bad. Not just bad, (we call it "bad" then - we can still talk in usual English, you know) but really horrible. For example: "How was dinner?" "Whursht" - this means that the food was quite simply, hopeless, and you would be wise to avoid it, wallet permitting, of course.
   
4. "Pawned": This word has originated from the gaming world. (DOTA, I think) It essentially means that you've been thoroughly and positively beaten. Apart from "GG" this is another popular word to describe what happens in an examination. An example - "How was the paper?" "Got nicely pawned"

Well, there you have it. A sample of the expressions that we use, and what they actually mean. I'm sure I've missed many, so feel free to add to the list.

C'est La Vie!

It's the most discussed emotion, and perhaps the least understood. It has sunk ships, destroyed cities, dethroned emperors and made many seemingly wise men loose their heads. It is also one of the few things that can't really be bought or inherited. Yes, it's that one incomprehensible, illogical yet mandatory emotion, love.
Heh Heh! How was that introduction? Who says you can't make something seem a lot bigger than what it actually is? Who says you can't make the mundane seem magical? Agreed, the above paragraph was a quite pathetic attempt, but you get the picture. In the hands of a competent writer, anything can be made to be bigger than it actually is. Just ask Bollywood.
But seriously, I'd better get to the point before you start cursing your judgement to read this. (if you're still here, of course :D) This post was inspired by a Wodehouse novel that I was reading. (Damsel in Distress, if anyone's curious) Anyone who has read a few Wodehouse novels will be quite familiar with the general layout of any particular book. Man/Woman falls in love with Woman/Man. Due to an unfortunate set of circumstances, said Man/Woman finds himself/herself betrothed to some poor soul who is in love with yet another person. Throw in a bit of English aristocracy, a rural English castle, and you have the makings of a hilarious, light-hearted yet plausible adventure. One of the many interesting parts to this plot caught my eye in this novel. Whenever the feeling of "love" is described in a Wodehouse novel, it is often accompanied by descriptions of the room spinning around the protagonist, the heavens descending in the form of singing angels, the very ground beneath seeming to give way etc. In short, love is described as something that occurs at first sight. Bang! And you are now "in love". Forget "getting to know" someone or "feeling your way" around. You are supposed to know that you are in love, instantly.
While this concept works wonderfully in the world of fiction, can a scenario like this ever occur in the more prosaic world that we live in? The romantic in me (yes, yes, contrary to popular belief, I'm not made of stone - I do have some semblance of emotion as well) certainly hopes so. The other part of me is highly sceptical. The couples that I've seen come together, have done so through a far more mundane route. Months of seemingly innocent conversation, followed by several more months of waiting while one of the partners gathers the necessary courage to actually do something that could lead to the start of a "relationship". This is followed presumably (I'm barely 21 - most couples I know haven't got much further than the hand-holding stage - I refer to mental progress, not physical) by a few years of "getting to know him/her" and maybe, if all things go well, marriage. That's certainly a far cry from the "love-at-first-sight-live-happily-ever-after" that we are all exposed to in our channels of entertainment. Why is there such a huge gap between fiction and reality? Is it because we would like to make-believe that ours isn't a monotonous, boring and lacklustre world? Or is it because of the fact that love at first sight isn't a myth, just something that is fleetingly rare? I hope that it's the latter, (and I hope that I am, someday, the "lucky one") but I suspect that it's the former. As they say, C'est la vie!