The other day I witnessed a few of my friends "updating" their resumes. OK. That's normal. Then I decided to actually read some of the sentences in them. Before I tell you what caught my eye, let me explain how 19 somethings actually write these documents. In terms of work we haven't done much. That's a fact. Unfortunately, none of us can put that down on paper. Why shoot ourselves in the foot? To get around this tiny problem, what we do is this:
1) Twist any and every fact to exaggerate the amount of work done. Fetching water/tea/coffee becomes "helped out in crucial office tasks" and spell checking becomes "proof-reading and content verification".
2) Blow the importance of what we did sky-high. Things like writing internal memos that everyone ignores become "tasks crucial to the corporation's functioning." A job as insignificant as searching the yellow pages for a florist morphs into "important conference arrangements".
3) Play up what we learnt. Did I say "play up"? I meant make up. Most of us learnt nothing noteworthy in our respective summer jobs/projects/interns. Of course, saying this would be a fool-proof to ensure that we never get such opportunities again. As a result, we write things like "worked on a variety of projects, each providing invaluable experience regarding the functioning of the blah blah". Or "contributed significantly towards the completion of so-and-so task". Notice how none of us give out any specifics. The key is ambiguity. The more of it the better.
4) Hype up things like the place at which we did our intern/project. Institutes suddenly become "premier" and companies "globally renowned". Leave out the fact that they may be liquidated at any moment.
5) A perennial favourite: Put down all our achievements, however insignificant they may be. 90% in the tenth board exams? Wow! We've got to mention that. It's sure to be something that'll help us a lot with a VLSI project. Member of an environmental awareness group? Put it down, ignoring the fact that we couldn't care less if the earth literally melted away.
Well, there you have it. A nice way to read into the resumes of 19-20 somethings. A pinch of salt? Better make it the entire bottle :D
temple by the sea
15 years ago
