What we say (but actually mean)

Have I written on this topic before? Ah! Who cares? (It's not like anyone wants to read such stuff anyway :D)

I recently read an article which said that people often don't say what they mean. It got me thinking. I realised that we (by this I mean people in general - with a few exceptions, of course) almost always say things that ought to be said. We say things that more often than not, hide the real truth. For example: Some really irritating person you're trying your absolute hardest to avoid comes up to you and says "Will you come to the party I've arranged at my house friday night?". You really can't tell him/her that you wouldn't be caught dead at that oh-so-lame "party". So what do you do? You lie through your teeth. What I've heard most often is this: "I'll really try my best to make it. I've got something else planned but I'll see if I can cancel it. I'll call you OK?". The poor fellow doesn't realise that you'd probably clean the neighbourhood drains to escape. There. Crisis solved. The person in question feels happy, you feel happy. End of story.
Unfortunately, we seem to have taken white lies like these a little too far. The other day, I was meeting up with a group of friends. A couple of them were late. (as usual) One of us called them up and asked how long would they take to arrive. "Defi, ten more minutes" was the reply. We waited. The ten minute mark came and went. A good fifty minutes later these two arrived and with a sheepish expression, told us how bad the traffic was. "Then why did you lie about the time", I asked. "Dunno, just thought it was a time-pass question". Time-pass indeed.
The moral of this story? We lie for anything and everything today. "Ten" minutes is more like an hour and "I'll try" is most definitely a NO. Personally, I'd prefer it if we could stop speaking in riddles. Honestly.

Football Madness!

Indians are crazy about cricket. Some call us fanatics. We're cricket "obsessed" they say. India vs. Pakistan is considered to be more of a war, rather than a game. We spend way too much time idolizing our cricket players. Insane amounts of money are given each year for a few seconds worth of endorsement.
Are we really that bad? It depends on the relative measure. David Beckham is paid 200 crores a year. M.S. Dhoni, the highest earning cricketer, is paid only 50 crores. What about the fanfare and the noise we make, bursting crackers when India wins? Take a look at the video I've uploaded. It was taken in Frankfurt when Croatia beat Austria in their first group match. There were about 50 odd cars circling the main square, flags draped around the hood and the roof. Turn up the volume and you'll realise what a racket these cars were making. They continued for about 2 hours until the police intervened. I'm not sure we'd disturb an entire neighbourhood if India defeated Sri Lanka in the group stage of the Asia cup. Would we?

In Pursuit of Traffic

Bangalore traffic. To many, the words are enough to cause massive headaches. Just ask my mum! Anyway, I realized how bad it actually was when I took videos of it. Now, some of you might ask: "What is this crackpot up to now?" or maybe you prefer: "Oh no, not again!" Either way, hold on till I've explained.
I'm doing this TI project over the summer with friend(s) and it's basically for traffic management through cameras. To test whether what we had done was remotely right, we needed some videos of traffic junctions. Hence, we trooped off to 100ft. road in order to get some footage. Check out and see for yourself. All I can say is that I'm shocked people willfully venture into this madness.
Do yourself (and others) a favour and take the bus. At least you have the safety of being in a bigger vehicle :-)

Indian Hospitality

A few days ago, I boarded flight LH 952 from Frankfurt to Bangalore. (rather Bengaluru) It felt great - the fact that I would be home in less than 12 hours. The time I spent in Europe was excellent but one thing I missed was the feeling of being at home. Those of you who've been away from home for an extended period of time (like in a hostel with bad food, water shortages and 100% humidity) will probably know how I felt on my way back.
What I didn't anticipate was a plane full (it certainly felt that way) of noisy NRI kids with blatantly unconcerned mothers. (and fathers) Most unfortunately, our flight was a connection between the USA and India. And these little terrors were on their first visit to India. Now I quite understand the inability of children (being one myself) to keep still but my understanding went right out the window when it came to their mothers. (Most of you would probably be saying - "there he goes ranting incoherently again". Hold on for a few sentences and I'll explain.)
There was one particularly ghastly kid who had the most annoying, drawling accent. He insisted on meeting every other kid nearby. Questions like "Whaaat is yur naaame" or "Whaaat is yur mom's naaame" must have been repeated at least a hundred times. All this while I was trying my hardest to sleep. Once the introduction between the kids was over, the racket really began. Game-boys and other noisy contraptions were switched on. Amidst several beeps, boops and other sounds, I could still hear the same kid going on "How diiid I diiieee?". It lasted for two torturous hours before the air-hostess (god bless her soul!) came and put an end to the bedlam.
OK, so where do the mothers come in? Well, they were right next to these kids. All they did was look at their beautiful, darling devils and go back to sleep without a word. They didn't realize that none of the others on board wished to hear a nine-year-old's exploits at a god-damn video game.
Their apathy got me thinking. And then I realized the root cause of the problem. We're just too accommodating. We always feel that there's place for one more person. Children have to be tolerated by all and sundry. After all, they're kids. Discipline and basic civic sense can wait while we perennially adjust.
This sense of Indian hospitality is great in some ways. In fact, I love India for it. However, at 37000 ft, in a 25 ft wide cabin, there are limits. It's time we respected those limits. Civic sense. We need to learn it.

Why Do We Complain?

Why do we complain? Some of us have the habit of going on and on and on. Akin to a duracell battery - lasts ten times longer! (OK, OK, I can see the fingers pointed at me. I don't complain. Just plain old ranting from here!)
I understand that sometimes things aren't quite perfect. Anyone living in India ought to know that by now. But, NO. Most urban Indians go on and on about bad roads, traffic, weather, politicians and what not. Stop it! Any city in the world has bad traffic. Ten-lane highways in England get blocked for miles during rush-hour. If you don't like it, go and stay in a village. I'm sure the roads (if any) are empty enough for your liking. As for the bad roads and politicians, not much can be done by your arm-chair observations. If we all view election day as a holiday to be spent lazing around, then what else is going to happen?
Look at the bright side for a change. Compare today's India with the India of ten years ago and you'll find a world of difference. Things are changing. What's required is time and a bit of patience.
Meanwhile, let's stop sounding like complaints' registers and admire the silence for a while, shall we?

Live and Let Live

Live and let live. One fantastic philosophy. Too bad we can't seem to follow it.
How many of us can honestly say that we've never interfered in the lives of others (or atleast tried to). Very few. Even among those few, I can safely say that no one has not passed judgements like - "See what he's doing. I'm much better in my moral standards."
That's the problem with India. Everyone seems to be interested with what others are doing rather than doing something themselves. If a couple wants to display their emotion in public, let them. Big f****** deal. They're grown up adults for god's sake. If an artist want to paint a few figures, so what? It's not like he's forcing those paintings onto everyone. (I doubt most people will be able to afford them anyway)
Stop making a hue and cry whenever some beautiful woman flaunts her assets in public. She's doing it because she can. Stop being jealous and learn to live with it. Some people I know actually live for that sort of thing. Where would they go if denied this silent pleasure?
There are only two choices we have :
a) Be an ultra conservative society reminiscent of the 1900s. (nobody really wants that - do they? It's too damn boring. No excitement.)
b) Be an open society where nobody really gives a damn. My school of thought. You want to lay a wet one on someone you love, go right ahead. So what if a thousand people are watching....
Let's hope we don't have a hung house for this one as well.